To My Daughter
Nikki-
February 11, 2025 you became a mother. The overwhelming emotion must have been indescribable.
I’m not even sure any words I can say can compare or even do it justice.
So here are some short, easy tips for you.
Give yourself some grace.
Rest when you can.
Document everything you can. By writing or in photographs.
Continue to cultivate relationships with family because life is to short.
Love and Forgive
In our short visit, your strength and ability shone bright.
I am beyond proud of you and love you with all my heart.
The day my life changed
November 21, 2009 forever changed my life. Fifteen years later I am still learning to cope.
Fifteen years feels like a lifetime—a lifetime of precious days missed with my dad. He was gone at approximately 2 a.m. on Saturday, November 21, 2009. His pain ended, while mine began.
I know I should honor him and the incredible impact he had on my life as a father, but I struggle with the pain. On the day I turned 30 in 2008, I felt a shift within me and cried for three months. It was a premonition of the turning point ahead—losing my dad a year and a half later. My husband was serving his second tour in Iraq, which lasted 15 to 18 months.
The journey began in December 2007, when my dad noticed an area on his tongue but postponed seeing a doctor until the pain was unbearable. In September 2008, he walked into the doctor’s office for the first time in over 30 years, only to receive the news that nobody wanted to hear: he had advanced cancer.
By then, we had left Kansas. My husband returned from Iraq changed, and we moved to Germany in August 2008. Just six weeks later, while introducing our kids to a new country, my mom called, sobbing. “It’s cancer,” she said before hanging up.
Despite the gravity of the situation, advancements in treatment gave us hope. Surely everything would turn out fine, right? Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. In November, I flew back to North Carolina, where my parents lived. When they picked me up, I could see the pain and discomfort my dad was enduring. The smell was unbearable; the tumor had grown to a size that made basic oral hygiene impossible.
At UNC-Chapel Hill, his doctors fought fiercely for him. Their efforts granted him another year of life. Fast forward to May 2009, when he triumphed and was finally cancer-free!
I took the kids home via Space-A travel, which cost us just $36 each for a flight from Ramstein Air Base to Charleston Air Force Base. During that time, we shared the most incredible summer months with my dad.
Yet September 2009 brought a harsh reality when the cancer returned fiercely. In all fairness, my dad had once been a smoker but had quit five years before his diagnosis. He had hesitated to see a doctor for nearly a year, which may have cost him dearly. His selflessness shone through; he didn’t want to seek help before we left for Germany, fully aware of the impact it would have on us.
To all of you reading this, take my message to heart: early detection is vital. Don’t wait—prioritize your health and have your dental exams.
It’s Just The Beginning
It all begins with an idea.
It all begins with an idea—a tiny spark that ignites a fire in the imagination. Every single day goes by and I find myself thinking of all these exciting new ideas that pop into my head like popcorn. There are always things I want to say or write, but somehow they just slip away to the wayside, neglected and forgotten. Why is that? Perhaps it’s because I am too tired, distracted, feeling a bit depressed, uncertain, or just plain lazy. I often find myself concerned about what others might think about my writing, but tonight, I could honestly care less about that.
Have you ever yearned for a special place to escape, where you can daydream about what life should be like, or even dive into what you wish it could be? Along this journey, you will likely find my transparency to be either refreshing, like a cool breeze on a hot day, or perhaps utterly shocking. It’s like I describe myself as an open book, with pages laid bare for all to read. I truly have no secrets tucked away to hide. I wear many hats: a wife, a mother, a soon-to-be Nana, a daughter, a cousin, a niece, and a coworker, but the real question remains—who am I just as an individual? Your guess is as good as mine!
My dream is not just a fleeting thought; I aspire to be a motivational speaker, an author, an entrepreneur, and yes, even a seven-figure earner. I have mapped out this ambitious goal that encompasses aspirations that many people only dare to dream of. I will be exploring these dreams as everyone follows me on this wild journey, and I'll be incorporating amusing snapshots of the day-to-day life I live. My ultimate goal is to reach out to someone who may be feeling unsure or nervous about embarking on their own journey to freedom, whether that be financially, mentally, or spiritually. I genuinely hope to hear from all of you with your lovely comments, suggestions, or even just sharing a piece of your unique story. As for me, this is my Fresh Start, and believe me when I say, it’s just the beginning!